Coming Home
by 12thPrecinctCoffee
Summary: Alexis didn't survive 'Hunt' and Castle never returned to New York. 5 years later he is back.
1. Chapter 1

**COMING HOME**

**Summary: **Alexis didn't survive 'Hunt' and Castle never returned to New York. 5 years later he is back. Picks up after 5x16.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own anything. Just borrowing!

* * *

**Prologue**

_He's not coming back. _

_When Martha came back from Paris telling Kate that Castle wasn't ready to come back, that he wasn't ready to face everyone yet, that he needed time to grieve by himself, that he didn't want anyone, not even Kate, to help him through this, Kate took the next flight out to Paris. _

_The Castle she found was a different man. Broken and angry at the world. She tried to reach out to him but he pulled back and pushed her away._

"_She wasn't your daughter, Kate," he spat. "She wasn't your child and you will never know what I'm feeling. So just leave me the hell alone!"_

_Alexis might not have been hers but she was his and Kate loved Alexis like her own because of that. Kate also lost someone she loved._

_She slapped him. _

_Hard._

_And she turned around and never looked back. _

_And he never followed._

_And he never came back._

* * *

**Chapter 1**

Nathan Grey Beckett was 4 years old and he ruled the world. At least the world within the 4 walls of their apartment in New York City that is. His red Superman cape blew up and down as he jumped from one end of the couch to the other. His city needed him and he was flying around to see if anyone was in need of rescuing. Night watch as he called it.

"Nathan!"

He quickly stopped his actions and sat down before his Mommy even entered the room. But he knew that she already knew what he was doing. She always knew.

Her hazel brown eyes looked at him while his blue ones stared back. He could name colors ever since he was 3 years old but just recently at school, he learned that mommies and daddies passed on the colors of their eyes and hair to their children. His Mommy had dark brown hair and hazel brown eyes while he had light brown hair and blue eyes. He figured he must have gotten both from his Daddy whom he never met. He saw a photo once, a long, long time ago. His grandmother showed him the photo but she hid it again and he never saw it since. His Mommy never talked about his Daddy too.

"Jumping on the couch again, Superman?" his Mommy smirked, crossing her arms across her chest. "How many times did I tell you that you're going to crack your head open one of these days?"

Oh, she was not happy, alright.

"C'mon, Superman, bedtime," she motioned for him to come to her.

He quickly did as he was told, leaving the couch and ran towards her in a sprint. He ended his sprint with a jump. She caught him. She always does. He knew she always will.

"You get any bad guys tonight, Superman?" she asked as she walked them towards his bedroom.

He nodded, giving her a big grin. He raised his right hand and put up two of his fingers. Two. He caught at least 2 tonight, one under the kitchen sink and one under the table.

"You dispose of them properly?"

He gave another nod. He flushed those little critters down the toilet like he always does.

"You should really use your words, baby," she murmured as she placed a kiss on his cheek.

He just gave her a smile and leaned forwards to wrap his arms around her neck tighter. The scent of cherries filled his nose making him smile more.

"Ah, you are really getting too big for me to carry, Superman. But that wouldn't matter because in a few months or so, you'd be begging for me not to carry or hug you infront of your friends," she said as she placed him down on his bed. He'd never get tired of being carried around and hugged by his Mommy. He giggled and shook his head. "You sure about that?"

He nodded with a big grin.

"Okay then, I'd take your word for it or your nod, anyway," she gave him a wink and a smile. She then helped him remove his cape and placed it on the chest on the foot of his bed, always ready for another day of crime fighting. She tucked him under the covers and dimmed his Superman lamp.

"Good night, Nate," she leaned down and placed a kiss on his forehead.

He blinked thrice and she smiled.

"Love you back, my little prince."

* * *

**Reviews are loved. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**COMING HOME**

**Summary: **Alexis didn't survive 'Hunt' and Castle never returned to New York. 5 years later he is back. Picks up after 5x16.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own anything. Just borrowing!

* * *

**Chapter 2**

Nathan Grey Beckett was 4 years old and he ruled the world. At least the aisle of the supermarket he was in with his Uncle Kevin. His Mommy had something to do so she asked his Uncle Kevin to take him to get some milk from the store. Milk for a growing boy, his Mommy had said.

He ran down the aisle and stretched both his arms out. He was a firefighter jet on its mission to take down the big dragon who escaped into the city. His target was just waiting around the corner, destroying buildings with its fire and mighty tail. He just needed to round the corner and the dragon was his but before he knew it, he was sitting on the floor as he bumped into someone's legs.

"Woah there! Didn't see you there. You alright?"

He nodded as whoever he bumped into helped him stand up. The dragon was long gone now and he just failed his mission. He looked up to see who made him lose the dragon.

The man was tall, taller than his Mommy. He had brown hair and blue eyes. The same shade as his own. The tall man looked familiar but he couldn't remember where he saw the tall man before.

"Nate!"

Uh-oh.

He's been found. He turned his gaze from the tall man to his Uncle Kevin who stood at the end of the aisle, his hair in a mess, probably from him running his hand through it. He did that a lot when he was nervous. And nothing made Uncle Kevin nervous than when he ran off when they were out.

"Kevin?"

The tall man knew his Uncle Kevin.

"Oh," his Uncle Kevin's eyes went wide as he saw the tall man. "Castle."

Castle.

Just like the ones in the books? The one where the kings and queens live in?

"Hey, how have you been?" the tall man walked closer to Uncle Kevin.

"Can you give me a second?"

"Sure."

His Uncle Kevin walked past the tall man and stalked towards him. A giggle emited from him as his Uncle Kevin gave him a stern look and took his hand.

"I told you no running away. Your Mom's going to kill me if I lose you," Uncle Kevin lightly scolded as he shook his hand. He remembered that one time that his Uncle Javi and Kevin lost him inside the toy store, his Mommy gave them 'The Stare' for a long time until Uncle Javi finally told her that they lost him because he was busy talking with the lady in the counter.

"Is this..." the tall man spoke again, pointing at him.

"Umm," Uncle Kevin's eyes went wide again and faced the tall man. "Yeah, yeah, mine and Jenny's."

"So you did get your baby! And isn't he a cutie," the tall man gave him a smile.

"Umm, Castle, I need to go," his Uncle Kevin suddenly pulled him to the back, hiding him. "It was nice seeing you."

"Look, man, I know we didn't exactly part ways on a good note. But it's been 5 years, This doesn't have to be awkward anymore."

"Look, Castle, I know you went through a lot. And we went through a lot too. Especially Beckett. You weren't there to see her through it, man. You have no idea how awkward this is. I-I really need to go."

And with that, his Uncle Kevin dragged him away from the tall man.

"Seriously?" the tall man called out after them. "Kevin!"

He looked back at the tall man who was left standing in the middle of the aisle. He gave the tall man a little wave as he walked off with his Uncle Kevin.

And the tall man with the same blue eyes as his waved back.

* * *

They arrived at his Mommy's workplace in record time. His Uncle Kevin told him to wait by his Mommy's desk. Uncle Javi and Kevin were then talking in hushed voices near their own desks. He watched from his seat as he sipped his juice box. He didn't even notice his Mommy behind him.

"Hey, baby boy, did you have fun with Uncle Kevin?"

He nodded and showed her the juice box he was holding.

"Didn't I say to buy you milk?"

He shrugged. After they ran away from the tall man, his Uncle Kevin forgot to buy the milk they were there to get in the first place. His Uncle Kevin then just got him a juice box from the small store on the street on their way back.

"Use your words, baby."

When he just continued to stare at her, she probably gave up trying to make him talk.

"He behave okay, Kevin?"

"There was a minute or two that he got away from me. Don't worry, caught him just in time before he even got to the big pile of oranges on display," Uncle Kevin said as he approached them.

Uh-oh.

His mother turned to look at him and he giggled.

"Tell her!" Uncle Javi spoke out loud, making his Mommy look away from him and to Uncle Javi. "Tell her! Now!"

"Tell me what?"

Uncle Kevin looked like he was going to run his hands through his hair again.

"He's back, Beckett," was all his Uncle Kevin said.

"Who's back?"

"I ran into him at the store a while ago," Uncle Kevin continued.

"Who's back, Kevin?"

"Castle's back."

That was the last he heard because his Mommy dragged his Uncle Kevin away and into the other room where the coffee machine was.

Castle.

They were talking about the tall man who had the same blue eyes as his.

* * *

**Thank you for the reviews and the follows. Very much loved. :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**COMING HOME**

**Summary: **Alexis didn't survive 'Hunt' and Castle never returned to New York. 5 years later he is back. Picks up after 5x16.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own anything. Just borrowing!

* * *

**Chapter 3**

Nathan Grey Beckett was 4 years old and he was on his way to the best place on earth.

After his Mommy and Uncle Kevin came from the room with the coffee machine, his Mommy told him that his grandfather was coming to pick him up. His Mommy didn't say anything else after that. She didn't sneak glances and winks at him like she usually does when he's there in her workplace. She just sat on her chair and worked on her computer. His grandfather came and with a goodbye kiss and hug, they left his Mommy in her workplace. She usually watched them until they reached the elevator but this time she didn't. He did his best to catch her attention but she just continued on staring at her computer.

"You stay close to Pop-pop, Nate," his grandfather told him.

He nodded and squeezed his grandfather's hand. They were on their way to the shop down the street where they sold comic books. He and his grandfather always stopped by the store to see if there were new Superman things. They had all the coolest things in that shop.

He hopped on one foot as he and his grandfather neared the shop. Nothing excites him more than seeing new Superman things. They entered the familiar shop and his grandfather led him towards the counter where Stan, the comic book guy, was always in.

"Hey, little Superman, we just got new action figures this week. I think there's even a new cape in there too," Stan greeted him with a smile.

"Ah, we came just in time then. Didn't we, Nate?"

He grinned at his grandfather and nodded.

"Oh, Mr. Beckett, that thing you ordered just came in, by the way," Stan told his grandfather.

"You do deliveries, right? It's a gift for a certain someone."

"I think I know who that certain someone is," Stan winked.

"Yeah," his grandfather let out a small laugh.

They were taking forever! He pulled on his grandfather's hand, getting his attention.

"Just a few more minutes, Nate, I just need to sign something."

He pulled on his grandfather's hand again. He really needed to see those new Superman things! He squirmed his hand that was still in his grandfather's.

Please. Please. Please.

His grandfather looked down at him. "You promise to go straight there and stay there until I get you?"

He nodded. He nodded once, twice, and even thrice.

"Okay, you go, I'll be there in a minute or two. You go straight down and use this aisle, okay?"

He nodded again. His grandfather let go of his hand and gave him a stern look. He nodded again, knowing what he meant, and turned to go to the back section where the Superman things were. He knew it by heart, he could even go there with closed eyes but that would be just silly.

His grandfather told him to go through this aisle but he knew a shortcut. He turned to look back, saw that his grandfather wasn't looking, and he turned the corner to get to his shortcut.

His eyes couldn't help but look at the other comic books on the shelves. Other superheroes were cool but nothing beat Superman. He stopped in his tracks when a cover of a comic book caught his attention. He looked at the comic book and stared at it. There was something familiar about the character on the front cover. He reached over and took a book and held it with both hands. He looked at the title written on it. He was a good reader and speller his Mommy told him once but he could only read the first word in the title: Storm. He knew that word, it was when lightning came with rain and strong winds. He then flipped the comic book and looked at the back.

The tall man with the same blue eyes as his was staring right back at him. The tall man from the supermarket who knew his Uncle Kevin. The tall man he called Castle.

"Nate!" his grandpa's voice came from somewhere.

Whoops.

He wasn't where he was supposed to be.

He gave one last look at the tall man's photo on the back of the comic book before placing it back on the shelf. He then continued his walk towards the Superman section. He counted his steps: one, two, three. He was about to count number four when someone grabbed him from behind and his face was smothered by something soft and wet. He kicked and kicked but he was being carried away farther and farther from the comic books. He smelled something fruity, something that smelled like oranges.

Then his world turned black.

* * *

**YES, I went there. **

**Now leave a review else you won't see your precious little Nate again. (LOL. Kidding, guys.) And I do hope you don't lose interest in this now that I've put in the twist. I think most of you were thinking this would be all fluff? Anyways, someone asked if I will be doing this in other people's perspectives: yes, I will be. The next few chapters won't be his perspective anymore. **

**Thank you so much again for the reviews and follows. SERIOUSLY. I have my phone on alert for emails and each time I hear a ding, I couldn't help but smile and be pushed into writing faster. Thank you for calling Nate enchanting, in my mind, he truly is. :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**COMING HOME**

**Summary: **Alexis didn't survive 'Hunt' and Castle never returned to New York. 5 years later he is back. Picks up after 5x16.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own anything. Just borrowing!

* * *

**Chapter 4**

Richard Alexander Castle was 47 years old and he felt lost.

He's been back in New York for 5 days now. When he came back, he found out that his loft has been sold and that most of his things were in storage. His mother had moved to a 2-bedroom apartment down the street and he was given her new address by his old loft's manager. Armed with nothing but the coat he was wearing and the small duffel bag he has live on for years, he knocked on his mother's door. It took him 3 knocks before he heard a voice he hasn't heard for 5 years. The door opened revealing his mother who, if it were possible, looked the same.

After the numerous questions from his mother of where he's been, what he has been doing, what happened to him all this time, all of which he evaded, she then told him, commanded even, to go see Kate. Which surprised him, his mother, he knew was a big fan of their relationship before but he didn't realize how big of a fan she was up until now. When he told her that he needed to put things in order first, she shushed him and told him that seeing Kate was the first order. He promised her that he would go see her as soon as possible.

But he's been back for 5 days and he hasn't gone to the 12th precinct to do anything, he hasn't made a move to go see Kate. His mother has been telling him every moment she can to go see Kate but each time he told her that she just needed time.

How do you just show up after 5 years of hiding?

Seeing Kevin this morning was a really big surprise for him. He didn't expect to run into someone from the 12th this early. He thought he still had time to think about how to let Kate know he was back. For sure Kevin has told Esposito and Kate that he was back now.

He let out a sigh. He had no idea what to do now. He slid down into the couch with another sigh escaping his lips. It was during these moments that he needed advice from his family, this was the moment that he needed the wisdom of the redheads of his life.

He tried to sink further into the couch but was forced to stop when something poked him in the butt. He reached behind him and pulled out the offending item.

Oh, it was only Superman.

Wait, Superman? Why did his mother have a toy in her apartment?

The woman in question suddenly entered the room.

"Mother, why do you have a Superman action figure?" he asked, placing the toy up in the air for her to see.

"Oh, Richard, you really shouldn't be going through other people's stuff," his mother shook her head.

"I wasn't going through your stuff, Mother, it poked me in the butt."

"Well, sometimes I like having company as I watch movies," she grabbed the toy from his hands.

"Superman, mother? Really?" he asked. "Shouldn't it be Alfred you should be watching movies with?"

"Oh, hush, Richard!"

Their bantering was cut short when the phone began to ring. His mother made her way to the phone and picked it up after another ring.

"Hello, Martha Rodgers speaking," she spoke into the receiver. "Oh, Detective Ryan!"

Kevin? Why was Kevin calling his mother? He drew closer to where his mother was, trying to hear their conversation. Was he calling to tell her that he saw him? He couldn't hear whatever Kevin was saying and his mother wasn't exactly saying anything.

"I-I'll be there as soon as I can," his mother replied in a worried tone.

"Detective Ryan? Why is he calling you?" he asked after his mother placed the phone down and hurriedly went to gather her bag. He followed her. "Where are you going?"

"To the 12th."

The 12th?

"The 12th? What are you going to do there?"

"Let's just go, Richard," she hurriedly said as she made her way out the door.

* * *

His mother didn't say anything on their taxi ride to the precinct and he didn't dare ask what was happening. All he knew is that something was definitely wrong. His mother who was usually chatting up taxi drivers, was eerily quiet and was nervously fiddling with her bracelet.

When they made it to the 12th, she quickly paid for the fare, not waiting for the change, and quickly made her way into the precinct.

Nostalgia.

That was the first thing he felt the moment he stepped out of the elevator and entered the homicide division of the 12th precinct. He could still remember the last time he was here and it made his heart beat fast. Really fast. His mother didn't even wait for him to step out of the elevator as she scurried off to the bullpen and headed into a room.

People were busy, busier than he remembered. Everyone was busy talking on their phones, barking orders. He could feel the tension that was filling up the place. As he took a few more steps into the bullpen, a familiar man who he never expected to see again passed by him.

"Agent Sorenson?"

Will, dressed in his usual FBI outfit, stopped in his tracks and turned to look at him. Recognition sparked in Will's eyes. "Castle."

"What're the FEDs doing here?" he asked.

"You don't know," Will replied in at tone that was more of a statement than a question.

"Don't know what?"

"Umm," Will suddenly seemed like he was knocked out of his usual character as he nervously glanced from left to right.

He recalled the last case they worked with Will. "Kidnapping case again?"

"Yeah," Will nodded, still uncomfortable. "Child abduction case. Hey, I'll catch you later, Castle. I still have a debriefing to do."

And with Will walked away without another word.

"What the hell is going on around here?"

He dared take a few more steps into the bullpen. No one acknowledged his presence, everyone was too busy minding their own business. He noticed a flyer or two on the table nearest to the exit and picked one up. He looked at the flyer and saw a photo of a boy with brown hair and blue eyes, a dimpled smile. He knew the kid, he just saw this kid this morning.

"Kevin's kid?" he wondered out loudly.

"Castle?"

Esposito.

"What are you doing here?"

"I-"

What was he doing here? All he knew was that his mother got a phone call and then he was whisked away to the 12th after a few minutes without an explanation.

"Did you have anything to do with this?" Esposito asked in a low tone, a tone he only used for suspects they were interrogating.

"What?" he cried out.

"Sorry, sorry," Esposito shook his head and stepped back. "You need to leave now, Castle."

"What'd I do?" he couldn't help but ask.

"Seriously, just leave, Castle."

Esposito didn't say anything else and stalked away.

He felt helplessly out of place, he felt unwelcomed, and he felt suffocated. With another glance across the busy place, he decided he couldn't last another minute in this place and he walked back into the elevator and out of the place.

He didn't even get a glance of Kate.

* * *

**Happy Easter!**

**I know I write short chapters but I feel that the story needs not to be hurried. But don't worry, I'll try to write as quickly as I can especially the next chapter because this one is like a filler/transition one.**

**Thanks for the reviews and the follows. Truly overwhelmed here, guys. Keep them coming. :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**COMING HOME**

**Summary: **Alexis didn't survive 'Hunt' and Castle never returned to New York. 5 years later he is back. Picks up after 5x16.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own anything. Just borrowing!

* * *

**Chapter 5**

Richard Alexander was 47 years old and he had no idea what was going on.

He was confused and he just got kicked out of the homicide division of the 12th precinct. He thought he was ready for this. To come back. It took him 5 years. But he guesses that 5 years wasn't enough for everyone else. They were so... cold. And they hate him, they all hate him.

He still held the flyer in his hand as he sat on the front steps of the precinct. He stared at the photo of Kevin's kid.

Kidnapped.

He knew what Kevin was probably feeling right now. It was something he never wants anyone to feel. He remembered Esposito's question and he couldn't help but wonder. Why would he have anything to do with this?

"Rick?"

He looked up at the owner of the pair of shoes that were planted right in front of him. "Jim?"

"What're you doing here? When did you get back?" Jim asked.

"I-I..." he stammered. "5 days ago."

"Does Katie know that you're back?"

"No, not yet, I think," he shook his head. He really wasn't sure if Kevin told Kate already.

"What are you doing here outside?"

"It was kinda crowded inside and Esposito kicked me out," he confessed.

"Kicked you out?" Jim echoed. Jim's eyes fell to the flyer he was holding and then back up to him. "You should come in with me. I think you need to speak with Katie."

"They don't want me in there," he shook his head. He couldn't take another rejection that soon.

"Just come with me, " Jim motioned him to stand up and follow him.

And just like that, he found his self standing up and going back up to the homicide division. Jim was quiet the whole elevator ride. When they got out of the elevator, Jim made him stop in his tracks before they went further into the bullpen.

"You stay here, I'll go speak with Katie."

He couldn't do anything else but nod and watched as Jim went to the interrogation rooms. He made his way towards the middle of the bullpen where the whiteboard was placed. He remembered how they used to fill up the board with all the evidences of the murders they were solving. He missed the feeling of bouncing theories with Kate and the boys. 5 years. 5 years really was a long time.

The murder board was still bare at this moment. Murder board? He shook his head. God, he hoped not.

The same photo of the boy from the flyer was pinned on the middle of the board. And below it, like they usually did, was the details concerning the victim.

**NATHAN GREY BECKETT**  
**4/M  
****Abducted from Stan's Comic Book Store**

Wait.

Beckett.

Beckett?

His eyes shot back up to the photo.

Beckett's nephew?

Beckett's... son?

Blue eyes.

Dimpled smile.

4 years old.

The Superman toy in his mother's couch.

His mother being here.

Kate's father being here.

And it all clicked into place.

He couldn't help and take a step back from the board. It was like a punch in the gut, all the air being sucked out of his lungs. His vision blurred.

This wasn't happening. He shook his head.

No, no, no.

It was just his mind playing tricks on him, just his overactive imagination. Just his mind going into overdrive and trying to weave a story, a tale.

"Oh, Richard, I didn't want you to find out this way."

His mother's words just confirmed his suspicions.

"No, no, no," he muttered, willing the air to come back into his lungs. He was going to faint. He could feel the blood pulsating through his arteries. And it felt like someone was squeezing his heart. "You knew about this!?"

"I'm really sorry, Richard. "She did try to tell you, Richard, she did try. We all did. But you were gone. You were gone, Richard."

"I-"

"5 years without a hi or a hello. We all thought you were never coming back, Richard. This was why I wanted you to go see Kate."

This was like Alexis all over again. This was going to end like that. And he couldn't go through that again. He just couldn't.

And he ran.

* * *

**I know, I know. Took too much time updating. Busy with real life. Boo. And I know, I know, too short of a chapter. Forgive me on both accounts?**

**And you guys don't have to worry, no hate will be felt towards anyone in this fic (starting from now, anyway.).**

**Thanks for the reviews and follows! I don't even know what to say anymore. :D**


	6. Chapter 6

**COMING HOME**

**Summary: **Alexis didn't survive 'Hunt' and Castle never returned to New York. 5 years later he is back. Picks up after 5x16.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own anything. Just borrowing!

* * *

**Chapter 6**

Katherine Beckett was 37 years old and she was having the worst day of her life.

When Kevin told her that he saw Castle this morning, she didn't know how to react. She thought he would never come back. She thought that he was gone forever, for good. She thought he was dead even.

She was itching to call Martha and ask her if it were true or if Martha knew even but she had to wait for Nathan to be picked up by her father. She didn't want to break down in front of her son. She ignored him, didn't want to look at him the whole time. She knew he was trying to get her attention as he sat on the chair beside her desk, Castle's chair. She didn't look at him until her father came to pick him up. With a kiss and a hug, she bid her son goodbye.

She planned to call Martha as soon as Nathan was gone but paperwork got in the way. Half an hour went by and she was still having trouble with finishing this one case, maybe it was because she was unfocused. She finally decided that she needed to call Martha now.

But as she reached for her phone, it began to ring, her father's caller ID flashing on the screen.

And then she received the news that sent her world into a spiral.

FBI had jurisdiction over child abduction cases, she knew that, but damn protocol. She rushed to the comic book store with Kevin and Javi on her trail. She had the store locked down, searched inch by inch, but there was no sign of her little boy. He was gone. Taken.

Her little boy who just this morning was sipping a juice box on the seat by her desk. Her little prince who with just a smile could make her smile back.

* * *

_Child birth was exhausting. She was in labor for almost 13 hours. She was exhausted beyond belief. This was even more exhausting than chasing after a suspect in her 5-inch heels. But now, now that she held her son in her arms, all exhaustion from her body just slipped away._

_Crystal blue eyes stared up at her. She knew babies just saw shadows at first but it didn't stop her from believing that her son was looking at her. She remembered what Castle told her about holding Alexis for the first time and being struck by lightning. Holding her son in her arms right now, Castle's words didn't even describe what she was feeling. If there was something that surpasses love, this was it._

_"Oh, darling, he looks just like Richard when he was born," Martha gushed._

_"I wish he would have been here."_

_"I know, darling," Martha nodded, giving her shoulder a squeeze._

_"What are you going to name him, Katie?" Jim asked. _

_"Nathan," she replied as her eyes shone with tears. _

_Gift from God._

_"Nathan Grey."_

_Because God gave him to them at the time when all their lives were grey._

_She ran a finger across his chubby cheeks and he squirmed, tickled at the new sensation, and small dimples appeared on both his cheeks._

_Just like his father._

* * *

They came back to the precinct where the FBI had already set up. She was numb, felt like she was floating, and she wanted this day to be a dream.

Martha was just here a few seconds ago, she came rushing in, wanting to know what happened. When the details of the case were told, Martha then told her that Castle was back. For 5 days. He's been back for 5 days. He's back and now her son is missing.

This really was one heck of a day.

Her father entered the room and took the seat across the table from her. He was quiet for a few seconds and then let out a small sigh.

"Katie."

He was going to apologize again.

"Dad, stop. It's not your fault. It's whoever took him that's at fault," she closed her eyes, she didn't want to look at him. She didn't want to look into his eyes. "Please. Just don't say anything, Dad."

She needed him to stop trying to get her forgiveness because she was afraid that he was going to push her into blaming him. And she didn't want to blame him. She didn't want to feel anger or resentment towards him. She didn't want to feel any anger right now, she needed to focus on finding her son, and bringing him back alive.

"Talk to me about the case, Dad, talk to me about the case."

The case. She needed to focus on the case. This was what she did best.

He nodded after a few seconds. "What have you guys found out?"

"They checked the shop's surveillance but whoever took him must have done a little surveying himself. He knew where the blind spots were. He planned this for a long time."

"Did you think Nate was the real target?"

"We still don't know," she shook her head. "He could have been or he could have been just there at the right time. The boys are looking at past tapes to see if anything suspicious comes up."

"Katie, did you know that Rick's back?"

She was completely taken by surprise by her father's question.

"Yeah, yeah," she nodded. "Kevin saw him earlier this morning at the supermarket. How did you know?"

"He's here," he said. "I think you need to tell him now, Katie, before he even hears it from someone else."

"I-I don't know how to break the news to him, Dad," she confessed. How do you tell someone that he has a son and that son was missing?

"The important thing is to tell him, Katie."

* * *

But when she saw Castle run off from Martha like he just got the worst news of his life, she knew that it was too late.

* * *

She found him in the alley in between the precinct and the old building next to it. He was leaning on the wall with both his arms, his head burrowed in the nook of his right elbow.

From her view and from what she can see of him, he looks like he lost weight but not in a sick way, he was leaner, he was also paler, the small tan he had from his walks in New York was gone.

After gathering more courage and keeping her emotions in stow, she took a few steps into the alley, still keeping her distance.

"I found out I was pregnant a month after I left Paris."

She heard his breath hitch but he never moved from his position.

"I-I can't do this again, Kate, I can't. Just tell me he's not mine. Not mine, please, not mine," he muttered as he shook his head. She could barely make out the words he was saying.

"He's yours. He's ours, Castle. He's our son."

"Son," he echoed. "Our son."

He finally moved from his position and faced her.

"Kate."

He had the same look from the last time she saw him. Agony written all over his face, broken. He was broken all over again. She wanted to run and crush her self into his arms. But with the 5 years hanging in between them, she had no idea how that little action would come out as to him.

She has also managed to contain her feelings since this morning, keeping the strong facade in place and she knew being in his arms would let that facade crumble. And she couldn't have that. Not now. Not now that her son needed her to be strong.

"5 years is a long time, Castle," she said. "And you've been here 5 days? Not even a hi?"

"Kate," he uttered her name once again.

"I didn't want you to find out this way, Castle," she made a few more steps further into the alley and sat on the small stoop along the wall. She motioned for him to sit beside. After a look of hesitation passed through his face and disappeared, he sat down beside her. 2 inches kept them apart.

They sat in silence for what seemed like minutes but was probably just a few seconds.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" he asked as his head whipped up to look at her. Confusion marred his face. "I should be the one who's sorry. I was the one who wasn't here."

"I was angry when you told me I didn't know how you felt when you lost Alexis. I thought I did at that time and it made me angry at you. But now that Nate's missing..."

"It's not something I wanted you to feel, Kate, I never want you to feel what I felt when I held her lifele..."

"Castle," she cut him off. "Let's not talk about that now."

She didn't want to hear about Alexis' death at this moment. And she didn't want him to remember his feelings from that moment because she was determined not to have him go through that again. She was determined to bring their son back alive.

She decided to turn the conversation into something lighter, to erase his memory of Alexis' death and to ease her mind for the time being.

"He likes Superman. I tried to point him into Batman's direction but it just didn't stick. He likes wearing his Superman costume every moment he can. I tried to hide that damn cape once and I thought he was going to pass out from all the crying. Never did that ever again, by the way," she couldn't help but smile at the memory of Nathan crying his little heart out from losing is cape. "He's got the greatest imagination. You can see the stories just racing in his mind through his eyes."

"He sounds..."

"Like you," she finishes for him. "Even looks like you."

She brought out her phone and opened the photo albums, searching for her most recent photo of Nate. It was from a few days ago when they went to Central Park. Nathan was eating ice cream, showing it off to the camera, his dimples showing and his blue eyes shining. There was no mistaking that Nathan was Castle's son.

"I thought he was Kevin's kid when I saw them together this morning," he confessed as he took the phone into his hands and stared at Nathan's photo.

"Well, maybe growing around Kevin kinda rubbed off on him."

The moment she said it, she knew she shouldn't have. She shot him an apologetic look.

"Kate, I know I've been gone for 5 years, let me explain..." he said as handed her back her phone.

"Save it for later, Castle," she cut him off once again as she shook her head. She knew it would be a long story. Having been gone for 5 years without a trace was not a 2-minute conversation to be had in an alley. And there were bigger matters to be focused on.

And 2 inches apart and 5 years be damned, she reached over and placed her hands on his. She looked up at his blue eyes and she gave his hand a squeeze. "Right now we need to get our son back."

He stared right back and nodded.

"Kate?" Will was standing at the end of the alley. "We've got something. C'mon."

She nodded, removed her hands from Castle's, and she stood up and walked towards the front of the precinct. She stopped in her tracks, turned and found Castle still sitting on the stoop.

"You coming, Castle?"

And just like he always did back then, he got up and followed her.

* * *

**This was a hard to chapter to piece together. *Sigh* And as I promised, no hate, no blame. Hope you guys liked the small flashback and the somewhat long chapter. :)  
**

**"Because this whole story doesn't make any sense." Ouch. Harsh, man. All I'd like to say is don't ruin the story with your logic (for now, anyway). Everything will be revealed in due time. Patient is a virtue.**

**Thanks for the reviews and follows. :D**


	7. Chapter 7

**COMING HOME**

**Summary: **Alexis didn't survive 'Hunt' and Castle never returned to New York. 5 years later he is back. Picks up after 5x16.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own anything. Just borrowing!

* * *

**Chapter 7**

Nathan Grey Beckett was 4 years old and he woke up in a bed that wasn't his own.

The last thing he remembered was going to the comic book store with his grandfather, seeing the tall man's picture, and then nothing else. Now he was in a room that wasn't his own. There were cars everywhere, even the bed he woke up in was also a car. He got out of the bed and walked towards the door which was wide open.

There was a woman in the kitchen, she putting plates on the table. He didn't know the woman, he's never seen her before. She then noticed him standing by the door and she broke into a big smile.

"Aidan, you're awake!"

Aidan? Who's Aidan?

"Are you hungry?"

The woman was looking at him so he guesses she was speaking with him even if his name wasn't Aidan. He shook his head. He wasn't hungry. He wanted to go home. He wanted to go see his Mommy.

"You must be hungry," she insisted as she continued to place plates on the table. "C'mon, I made your favorite. Waffles!"

Waffles? He frowned. Chocolate chip pancakes were his favorite. The one with the smiley face that his Mommy always made.

He shook his head once again.

"C'mon, Aidan, be a good boy and eat," she motioned for him to come to the table. "You've been asleep for a very long time, you must be hungry."

He just looked at the woman who was still smiling widely but when he didn't move an inch from his spot, she suddenly had an angry look on her face.

"Aidan! You come here right now! Or you will get it from me, young man! NOW!"

His eyes went wide and his heart made a thump-thump sound. His Mommy never shouted at him like that. No one ever shouted at him like that before. He felt his eyes water and he couldn't help but cry.

He really wanted his Mommy.

He wanted to go home right now.

"Stop crying!" she barked at him. She suddenly walked over towards him with a finger pointed out. He didn't know what she was going to do to him now. But before she came near him, a loud knock came from the door. The woman's eyes went wide and she looked from the door back to him. "You go back to your room right now, Aidan. And don't make any sounds. Go!"

He went back into the bedroom with the cars. He heard the door of the bedroom close and the knocking from the other door continued.

He looked at the closet and remembered what his Mommy told him before. He ran to the closet door, went inside and shut it. He sat on the back corner of the closet and stayed real close to the wall. There was a loud crash from the other room and he covered both his ears with his hands. He squeezed his eyes shut as tight as he could that they already hurt. He didn't know how long he was in the closet and how long the sounds from the other room went on. He just continued to close his eyes and cover his ears.

He really wished his Mommy was here.

"Nate! Nate? Are you here? Nate!"

Mommy?

He opened his eyes and removed his hands from covering his ears.

Was it really his Mommy?

"Nate! Are you here?" the voice called out once again.

It was his Mommy.

He stood up and quickly opened the closet door. And there was his Mommy, standing in the middle of the room.

"Oh, Nate," she cried out as she placed her gun down on the floor before stepping fast towards him.

He didn't wait for her to completely come to him. He broke into a run and jumped into her arms. She caught him. She always does. He knew she always will. He burrowed his head in her shoulders and hung on to her as tight as he could.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt, baby? Did she hurt you?"

He shook his head.

"C'mon, let me see you," she took his hands from her neck and pulled him away a little. Her amber brown eyes stared into his blue ones. She probably saw his tears from earlier because she went and wiped them away with her fingers. "It's alright now, Nate. I've got you. Mommy's got you."

She leaned forwards and placed a kiss on his forehead and then his nose. That always tickled him and made him smile.

"Ah there you go, a smile," she smiled back and placed another kiss on his nose making him smile again. "Can you use your words, baby?"

He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her again. He closed his eyes and the scent of cherries that filled his nose made him feel not afraid anymore.

"Missed you, my Mommy," he whispered.

"I missed you too, my little prince," she said with a soft sigh.

"Just keep your eyes closed until I tell you, Nate," she whispered to him as they made their way out of the room. After a long while, she finally told him to open his eyes.

He looked around and saw police cars and big black cars with the sirens blasting their red and green lights on the street. There were police officers around and some people were watching from behind the yellow line that his Mommy once told him were called police lines.

And he was there.

The tall man who had the same blue eyes as his.

* * *

His Mommy's workplace was full of people. Some of them he knew and some of them he didn't. But they were all clapping when they got out of the elevator and walked towards his mommy's desk.

"Glad you're back, little Beckett."

"Nate, my little man," Uncle Javi greeted him with a smile. "It's great to have you back."

"Look who's here to welcome you back, baby," his Mommy told him. He quickly looked at where his Mommy was pointing and saw his grandpa and grandma.

"Oh, Nate, darling!" his grandma cried out. She walked towards them and held her hands out wide and he left his Mommy's embrace to go to his grandma's arms. His Mommy always told him to not let grandma carry him too much because he was already too heavy for her but he guesses this was an exception. He really wanted to hug his grandma tightly right now and he did. "I'm so glad you're okay, my darling. You gave us a big scare. Especially your Mommy and your Pop-pop."

When he heard his grandpa's name, he quickly turned to look at his grandpa.

"I'm sorry, Nate," his grandpa said but he didn't come near them.

"Dad..." his Mommy spoke out. "C'mon, Nate, give your Pop-pop a hug and tell him that it wasn't his fault."

He reached out to his grandpa and after a few counts, his grandfather finally took him in his arms and hugged him tightly. "I'm glad you're back, Nate, I'm really, really glad you're back."

And all the while the tall man with the same blue eyes as his was watching.

* * *

**Yay, Nate's back! :D The back story of the kidnapping will be in the next chapter in Kate's POV but I think you could already derive it from this chapter. This one's short again, I know. Apologies!**

**Thank you for the reviews and the follows. Much loved as always. :)**


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